Good morning?

If ever you are out of coffee and you need to wake up fast, you can try this:

(Just to set the scene...Last night, we took a bad spot alone alongside a very vulnerable pier because there were no places available in the harbor other than ones that had been pre-booked and marked with red lights. We called the harbor watchman and asked if there were any of these spots available and if it was OK to be on the pier we had chosen. He said it would probably be OK until the morning but we could call him back at 8 am if we didn't find anything before that, and he would try to find another spot for us because the wind was going to be really bad. I went to bed around 10 pm so that I could try to get some sleep before the storm started full-on. This after two nights of very bad quality sleep due to the bumping undercurrent of the last place we stayed. I woke up at 1:45 to reasonable sloshing, then 4:35 to some proper banging of waves on the windows and then again at 5:45. Reidar was up by then, and the banging of the waves on the windows was coming at more frequent intervals, but he wasn't worried. I stayed in bed and tried to go back to sleep until 6:30 when I resorted to watching "The Great British Bake-off" on my tablet to bide my time until 8. Don't judge. Then at 7:30, Reidar shouts: "Clare, we are moving.The watchman has found us a spot." GREAT! I did not want to be where we were. "Do you need me for anything?" PLEASE GOD SAY NO. "Yes, I need an extra hand on deck"...)

1. Get dressed: waterproof trousers, wool sweater, rain coat, wool socks and sneakers. Life jacket.

2. Tie back the hair.

3. Grab the phone.

4. Pop head out of the cockpit to witness waves crashing over the pier, the boat and the husband.

5. Put the phone back. 

6. Look longingly at the phone for a split second because this would be really good blog fodder.

7. Get up on deck. 

8. Get splashed on.

9. Get splashed on again.

10. Say hi to the guy who is helping to move the boat and doing a million things with various ropes.

11. Try to understand how the hell your extra hand is going to help.

12. Hold onto the one rope you have been put in charge of for dear life. "Just throw it onto the pier when I tell you. I am going to put it in reverse and then it will get slack and it will be easy to throw off."

Chaos. Confusion. The boat doesn't start. Then it does. The rope goes slack. 

13. Take the rope off the cleat, but keep holding it even as it tightens so much that you no longer can. "Reidar?" "Oh, shit. Did you let it go? Let it go." 

The helper guy starts pushing the boat away from the pier with all his strength. Reidar shouts, "she let it go!" The helper guy somehow gets another gear and pushes even more as the fenders squeeze between the pier and the boat. 

14. Shout, "SHIT: Is there anything I can do?" Answer: "No, just try not to hurt yourself." 

15. Hold onto the rail for dear life.

The boat moves along the pier toward the rocks and then turns and we are out in the sea. The waves are crashing over the bow and splashing me in the face. Reidar steers the boat into the harbor. "I'm sorry," I say. "That is not on you," he says. "What do you need me to do now?" "Go up on the bow and throw that guy the rope."

16. Fasten the rope to the cleat and get the rope ready to throw.

17. Shout to the helper guy on the pier, "Which side do you want it on?" while subtly hinting that it should be the side I already prepped.

18.Thank the guy profusely while swtiching the rope to the opposite cleat when he says, "I'm going to put it on over here."

19. Throw him the rope.

20. Thank the guy profusely.

21. Run back and yank in all the fenders which are hanging above the pontoon instead of inside it protecting the boat.

22. Thank the guy profusely.

23. Say, "that'll wake you up in the morning" to which the helper guy replies, "Better than coffee."

DIFFERENT than coffee, I would say.

The wrap-up: When I told Reidar that the harbor watchman was great, he told me that the harbor watchman just gave us the OK to move to one of the pre-booked spots, but he didn't want to have anything to do with the maneuvering. Our helper guy was another tourist in a boat who dropped everything to help us out and we didn't even get his name. Reidar had done a very similar thing for a boat just two days before in Stavern. This aspect of the boat culture is something I really appreciate. Our boat is really heavy (7 tons) and does not have a very strong motor or thruster, so Reidar's driving was really exceptional and the helper guy congratulated him on just reacting and going with the boat once the rope was released. It all happened so fast that I still don't really know what all happened. We were safe in a much better spot, but there was so much adrenaline that I still haven't gotten back to sleep and it is almost 9:30 pm. The storm has just stopped.